Hope for Haiti
Haiti is already off the front page.
I usually "read the paper" via internet over my breakfast, and this morning I saw an article speculating upon whether the subject of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" is actually David Geffen.
Really? Is this really what's important news right now? It upset me greatly. Now, I enjoy a good People magazine once in a while (although if you repeat that I'll deny it), however I am just baffled into the stratosphere of reasonability on this one. There are so many more important questions to be grappling with than that. How ironic that the vanity in question isn't our own for participating in that kind of mindlessness.
So here's my "rebuttal of the spirit" if you will: I'm assuming that media analysts will say that we focus on "Geffengates" and the like because it helps us escape from our current troubles, be they financial, emotional, economic, etc. etc. etc. But is that really the way we want to be?
I'd like to introduce a question better worth our time and energy. If the pain of the world is enormous, if struggle and suffering still exist on our earthwalk, how do we proceed if we want to help but are afraid? How do we invest our time generously, charitably, without avoiding the pain we'll so obviously be exposed to? How do we face our fear of becoming overwhelmed by it?
I think firstly, we have to see being of service is its own reward. We set ourselves aside for another human being. And sometimes it requires effort. But ultimately, we are the ones who receive blessings worth far more to us than what we gave away.
We do what my friend Danielle's dad did. He is a practicing emergency room physician who volunteered a week of his time at a hospital in Haiti a couple weeks ago. What he did reminded me that facing what is hard, or what hurts, is an act of bravery. Hopefully I will always be able to step up, when, and if, I am called. I hope you are as affected and inspired by his journal as I was. It follows below.
(Side Note: I'm still not sure what to think about those that invoked the "Charity Begins At Home" clause, in such a cruel way for this particular crisis in Haiti Our earth home is getting much smaller. It will probably continue to be harder to buffer ourselves from events happening far away. There is a huge spiritual opportunity here: to let go of the desire to buffer ourselves. To open our hearts further and give what we can. Not to give until it hurts. But to face what hurts so we can give what we can. And I'm sure we'll find that we can give a lot more than we thought).
Here are Dr. Santoro's words:
Day One. I just finished our evening meeting. We start at 7:30 andapparently finish at 10 PM. Busy the whole time. This country is unbelievably poor. Beyond our comprehension. The patients we have seen have unbelievable injuries. A lot of amputations and plenty of wound care.
There are 6 tents set up with patients about 50 in each tent. All on cots and separated by about three inches. We make rounds three times a day and treat and change dressings. The odors are inhuman.
Met a number of people from all over the country and we all have the same goals being here.
Today when we were loading the children on the jet, it was emotionally crushing. Big brown eyes which refused to cry but you knew they were in pain. The youngest was 2 the oldest 13. I watched one of the nurses who took care of this child for two weeks---get down on the ground with her while she laid on the stretcher and kissed her and cried because she was going to miss this adorable baby. It made me proud to be in the medical profession and of course I was choking back tears.
More tomorrow, I have to get to bed.
Tonight a chicken strolled though the pediatric tent---guess it's not unusual.
Day Two
Today I started the day with Mass-short but powerful-and then to breakfast-grapefruit--and to work. Today we changed dressings. OMG I have never in my life seen so much pus. Out of my 50 patients, I sent three to the OR for wound revisions or wound drainage. The families here take care of their patient family member. They feed them, bathe them, and do whatever else is needed, except give meds or change dressing. They are wonderful. I can't even begin to describe the smell. Later in the day after lunch (beans and rice) I made the mistake of going to the peds ward. I'm so glad I wasn't assigned there. It is basically two big rooms just jam packed with patients and family. The children are beautiful-truly there was one little boy about two who was brought here because he had a FX leg. But he is an orphan because both his parents were killed and he was the only survivor. The parents of the other children take turns caring for this boy. Feeding him, holding him-loving him.
It drove me to physical tears and open sobbing-I had to leave. I am a big baby but this is heart wrenching. Then there was the 8-month old baby with the FX skull and soft tissue injuries who was found under her dead mother!. There are more stories than I can remember. I talked with another father who carried-yes carried his 6-year old son here with a fractured pelvis. It took him three days! I am happy but tired. Emotionally drained but full of hope. I love you all and I so appreciate each and every one of you.
Day Three
Toughest physical day thus far. At least 95 degrees and then over 100 in the tents. We changed over thirty dressings today. It took us over 5 hours to get through the work and I still have to go back this afternoon to clean up some loose ends. The worst case was a crush injury to an arm that needed to be opened to relieve the pressure. He then got infected. Since the injury, during which he was buried for over 24 hours he also injured his nerve and so he now has no movement in his hand. I'm afraid he's another young man who is headed for an amputation. The young child with the facial cellulitis is still a problem. We convinced the Navy to fly her to the USS Comfort so we can locate the abscess and then hopefully drain it. A new team of doctors and nurses came today and I think we have a neurosurgeon so we may be in luck. The poor child has her whole face mis-shapened and I'm worried about her.
Last night we lost a two-month old baby who was septic and really didn't have much of a chance here. The nurse caring for her cried and just kept asking what she should have done differently or better or faster. It was sad for all of us.
On the road just now back from the tents I ran into a mom and her newborn. Unbelievable. Life goes on no matter what. The baby was gorgeous and happy. Such a contrast to the life around her.
Well, it's time to get back to work. I hope the new people get up to speed quickly because this pace is difficult to sustain. However, as our lead MD said, how can we complain of sore backs or tired feet when we are surrounded by people who have suffered so much and do so with grace and dignity. I guess I'll just go back to work.
Love Husband , Dad, and Boppa.
Day Four
The Internet connection is shaky so I hope we can get this out.
Good day but more sadness. I went through my hospital tent in the morning and one of my favorite patients was very sad. He speaks some English so I asked him what was wrong. Now this guy is a big man with a bad lower extremity fracture in a long leg cast with an infection underneath it. He is usually smiling and playful and and laughing. He often helps the patient in the next bed who is an old man with no family. Well, he told me he just learned that his friend has committed suicide over the death of his son in the earthquake. He cried as did I. I hugged him and asked the priest to see him. Then later, I saw this woman going bed to bed and talking to each patient. At first I thought she was a nun who was offering comfort to the injured. Later I learned that she was a woman from who was going tent to tent, town to town looking for her son who she has not seen since the quake. I cried again.
About 2 o'clock we heard that a school in Cap Haitian, a town near here, had collapsed and there were 150-170 victims. We all mobilized immediately and it was very impressive. I was made in charge of the immediate resuscitation tent. I had 18 people under my command. Well, happily the rumors were only partially true. A slide (we've had rain) caused the collapse of a room at a school. Four children died but there were no other victims. This is both great and sad. We also went to a Haitian cemetery and this is another whole story.
Apparently here you only stay buried 2 years after which they dig you up so they can reuse the space. Consequently you see all kinds of bones and skulls all over the graveyard. Many in decaying coffins! It was outrageous. But it is their custom.. Not right or wrong but it just is.
OK guys I have to go now because there is a line to use this machine. I love you all and you are in my thoughts every day.
I appreciate all that you bring into my life more than I ever have----thank you.
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Here is Danielle's information about what we can do to help:
HI All!
My dad returned home from Haiti last week, and we were able to get home on Saturday to see him, hear about his trip, look at pictures (heartbreaking), and give him some much needed time with his grandchildren. To say that his trip changed him, is an understatement. His mind is still in Haiti, with the patients that he left behind, and the hospital where he worked. My dad has been an ER doctor for over 20 years and has seen it all, but in his words he has never, ever seen anything like the injuries in Haiti. He is already thinking about his return trip there.
Everyone has asked me what we can do here to help, and after talking to my dad about this, his biggest concern is that people cannot understand the magnitude of the devastation, and that Haiti has already been forgotten. The hospital where he worked, Crudem, has a website that takes donations which go directly to the hospital. You can actually purchase specific items (cans of formula, medical supplies, water, etc) that will be shipped directly to Crudem. http://www.crudem.org/
I have never sent an email out asking (begging) for people to give money before, but I'm doing it now because I feel an overwhelming need to 'pay it forward' for my father.
xo
Danielle