My partner and I have the absolute honor of being part of a big rainbow family. We are at the helm of our chapter (along with his amazing co-parent) insomuch as we are the elder members of the bunch, but this means very little when you consider they are all way smarter than us. We have learned way more from them than we could ever hope to impart as parents.

While our kids’ stories are not mine to tell I can unabashedly say they have all made us better people just by being who they are. Just by existing in the world, they are doing sacred work. I also think it shouldn’t have to be such hard work.

One of my biggest spiritual exercises this year is working on not being surprised by anything about fascism and the hate it feeds on and breeds. I want to be the kind of person who does not yield my inner life to disruptions caused by assholes.

I am not naive in believing it’s always possible. I am as fiercely protective of my humanity, and being an intuitive brings the occupational hazard with it of being about as sensitive as a human can be.

So the hate that has risen to the top of the playbook lately stuns me repeatedly. It’s brazen, gets off on its own shamelessness, and is so, so, so pathetically stupid. It’s always that way, isn’t it, but this just seems…lurid. It grosses me out to be exposed to it. Almost everyday I ask myself why such a large portion of human beings have allowed themselves to be swayed by such ignorance and fear. I want to both look away and bear witness.

One thing I learned long ago is that worrying is not love. Which is hilarious in practice, especially with those we care about. We can know that our caring isn’t proved by how much we worry and not be able to put it into practice at all. I try not to agonize about the extra struggle our LGBTQ+IA youngsters have experienced in their lives, and instead practice gratitude for the joy they have brought into ours. Sometimes though, I just want to hurl old dishes against the garage in fury.

So to our kiddos, to our friends and colleagues, and to your rainbow beloveds if you have them as well, I say thank you. May I always be a safe place for you. May your celebrations be year-round, may your pride be as quiet or as out loud as befits who you are, and may we all live in a world where no one has to look over their shoulder before they risk being who they are.

May the margins disappear.