We are all connected to one other through intuitive empathy.

Last week we talked about how this type of empathy is different from emotional empathy, which is the willingness to imagine another person’s lived experience, whether we have similarities or not. Intuitive and emotional empathy can co-exist and often do, but intuitive empathy is immediate and bypasses any filters or beliefs you personally have about what you’re picking up.

Every sentient being on this planet exists within an interconnecting web of energy that holds us together as we live our lives. So whatever one of us experiences is felt by all of us on some level. The good news is that in practice, we are not required to carry the world on our shoulders, even if it sometimes feels like that’s what happening. The reason we are naturally intuitively empathic is that this ability serves as our North Star. It points us to our purpose here on earth, which is to be part of the highest good for the greatest number.

We have tools to protect us from living in constant overwhelm, which is the #1 misunderstanding about intuitive empathy and why I think a lot of people resist this most important part of their humanity. It’s tricky though, since we don’t have permission to talk freely about intuition. We certainly don’t have a good working language about it that operates without marginalizing it further than it already is. The sad reality is that when life gets terrifying, when we become wracked with grief, when we feel helpless and hopeless-and we will all experience this at points in our lives-way too many people succumb to hate to buffer themselves against their suffering. When life becomes too painful, it is still socially acceptable to blame other humans for our own struggles, or at least to judge them for theirs.

And of course all hate directed outward begins with self-hate. It’s such a vicious cycle. Learning to accept that all humans suffer is fantastically difficult, absolutely. It is a major element of our learning here, and I wish I had better news about it. But I do know that empathy, in both forms, helps.

So please hear me when I say that we are not meant to carry everything we pick up from others. What we are here to do is a bit more than as much as we can, in service of our brethren, (even the ones we don’t like very much), and the planet, and its creatures.

We are also not meant to go down with the ship. Here are some of the main ways you can immediately tell you are carrying more than you should:*

Difficulty sleeping or excessive sleeping. Sluggishness alternating with frenetic activity.

Loss of appetite or self-medicating with comfort food or other behaviors/substances.

Brain fog and difficulty with executive functioning, alternating with hyper-focused intensity.

Feeling numb, mood swings, bursts of intense emotions, crying.

Headaches, stomach aches, heck, aches in general. Low-grade fever.

So what do we do if we identify we’re symptomatic from an intuitive empathy transfer? Here are some ways to tend to yourself:

~Put this on a sticky-note by your door, an index card in your backpack, write it in lipstick on your bathroom mirror: I am not responsible for everything I pick up, only what I don’t put down. Realizing that you may be reacting energetically to someone else’s stuff is good information, and that’s how it’s intended to be. It doesn’t mean it’s yours to resolve. It is a reminder that you are one of many and that your empathy systems have activated. This is a good thing! We want to be the kind of people who are connected to one another.

These systems are an early alert to set a boundary. It reminds you to release what you are holding for someone else back into the Universe with your love. Send them a blessing for everything they need to transform. Send them your belief that they can.

We don’t help other people by worrying about them. We help them by supporting them, sometimes with our concern, sometimes with our active help. But if you’ve gotten zapped out by an intuitive empathy transfer, you can immediately assume you do not have a horse in their race. It is a call to action for sure, but you get to choose the action, out of abundance, not sacrifice. First, try these:

~Get your own energy moving. Walk, run, do any kind of movement or exercise you like.

~Talk about it. Share with someone who understands intuition.

~Touch the earth. Garden, smell flowers, get your feet wet at the beach.

~Take an epsom salt bath. This is one of my personal faves, I also do floatation tank therapy as regular maintenance for myself.

Lastly, and this is very important: get a regular gig doing service somewhere. Volunteer in your community in a way that directly helps others. Or find someone to help as a daily practice. Give of your time, energy, and treasure for someone else’s benefit. It is the most restorative action that you can take for your intuition.

As we absorb the news of the world, from locally to afar, our connection to the whole of humanity is what can make some days extremely emotional. Especially in the Information Age when we have a digital firehose of documentation blasting us all the time.

More than ever, we need to take good care of ourselves and each other. Your intuitive self knows this. Often our immediate response to trauma is to retract in hopelessness, but don’t do it.

Believe me when I say that taking good care of yourself empathically means that in the long run you will have more resources of every kind to do the kind of good in the world that you are called to do. As long as you make it a priority to have outlets for being of service, you will be amazed at the opportunities that crop up around you. The Universe will find you.

In the meantime, be still with what is, even when it’s hard. There are ways to use our connection to the whole of humanity to make a difference even if it seems uncertain how we can directly affect outcomes. It always starts with small actions, taken consistently towards good.

Be well and much love to you all,

Susan

*This is a definitive list insomuch as you are doing well in other areas. These symptoms should be noticeable to you because they are irregular and distinct, not your default. In our context, think of them like a flare up.